YOUR BEDROOM- Look, we need to have a discussion. This is becoming a problem. But everyone you meet cannot simply just secretly an egg, (how closeted transgender people are sometimes referred to). I know it’s tempting to see signs of gender non-conformity in all those that you meet, but it’s simply statistically unlikely that everyone you’ve ever met is trans.

Look, I know what you mean about your friend Terrence. He does post an awful lot of memes supporting trans people on Facebook. But there’s plenty of explanations that don’t involve him being trans himself. He could have a trans friend, or a trans girlfriend, that he’s trying to support. He could be signaling to another friend that he thinks is trans that he’s safe to come out to. You know his friend Steve? He could be trying to tell Steve it’s ok for him to come out and be himself.

That’s not saying Steve is trans either, let’s make that clear. Yes, he has long hair and a very unkempt appearance, and definitely seems to hate himself enough to secretly be trans. But that could just be regular old depression, you know. Either way he should probably see a therapist and work stuff out, but he needs to do that on his own.

Then there’s Janine, who shaved her head and has everyone call her “Jay Jay”. Yes, she does roleplay as guys a lot while playing Dungeon and Dragons. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I mean, it could, not saying otherwise, but you have to give her some space to see if she’s going to do anything about it.

And correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you also suspect that Laura is trans? Laura, who is a makeup artist and talks about glitter and rainbows a lot? Something about how she wears an awful lot of men’s T-shirts or some shit? Didn’t you say she gives off big “drag queen” energy and that you wouldn’t be surprised if she transitioned so she could go on Drag Race? Like, if she wants to, that’s awesome, but you’re making some serious leaps in reasoning here.

In summary, not everyone is trans. Some of them might be, you know? Your friends group is pretty gay. Like, really really gay. But you gotta give them space and let them figure themselves out.

(Yeah, yeah, Jay Jay is probably trans, but let them figure that out! You can’t just like, go up to someone and say “You know you’re really a guy, right?” That’s kind of messed up, even if you’re right. Yeah, I know that would have saved you a few years of self discovery, but didn’t that also turn you into a better person? Well, at least a stronger person. With some really strange and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Ok, you should probably get help for that; that’s not normal. Don’t do that anymore.)