News Shorts

Satan Responds to Lil Nas X’s “Montero”

HADES, THE DARK UNDERWORLD–The internet is abuzz with Lil Nas X’s music video for his latest hit “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” and it’s also faced some heavy criticism from many sectors.

The video, which shows the rapper sliding down a stripper pole to Hell, giving Satan a lap dance, snapping the Dark Lord’s neck, and stealing his horns. It might be expected that Christians claim that the video is “evil” and “Promotes Satanism,” however other detractors come from unexpected sources.

Satan, who also goes by Lucifer Morningstar, is not a fan of the video. “It’s like, I know I should be happy about anything that makes Christians so unhappy. But, I can’t really help but feel like everyone is ignoring where X kills me and takes over as the Lord of Hell. I’m not really a fan of that.”

Mr. Morningstar said he was not involved with the video. “Nor was I even asked! They never got me involved at any point. They just used my likeness in CGI. I never gave them permission for that. Had they asked, I would have given them permission. I mean, I would have taken some time off and even helped on set. I suspect they wouldn’t like any editorial input on my part.”

The self-described Prince of Darkness went on. “But, I suppose it’s nothing new, being ignored. I sent a plague and am on track to kill three million people. But this is what makes those people so angry? It’s really disheartening.”

Satan may take responsibility for the Pandemic, but claims he had nothing to do with other recent disasters. “I just want everyone to know that I had nothing to do with what happened in the Suez Canal, but I wish I had. That shit’s hysterical.”