News Shorts

Days Since Fatal Gender Reveal Party Counter Reset To 0

The Uncaring Waters of the Caribbean Sea

CANCUN–Prior to mourning the death of 2 pilots, the counter for “Days Since Fatal Gender Reveal Accident” has been reset to 0.

The Moment of Impact

In Cancun on Monday, two pilots plunged into the waters of the Caribbean Sea during a party where the pregnant couple revealed the genital configuration of their fetus. The couple, who again hired these people to talk about the genitals of their future child, could not be reached for comment.

Just prior to the crash, one of the guests can be heard saying, “It’s all good as long as it doesn’t end up crashing into us.” Instead, the plane crashed into the ocean.

The Mexican Navy were able to recover the pilots, one of whom died during the rescue and the other died on the shore from his injuries.

Marsha Marigold, leader of the Gender Reveal Death Count Calculator, solemnly flipped the counter back to 0 after a short moment of silence for the pilots who died, again, during a stunt designed to announce what kind of genitals an unborn kid has.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve reset it,” Marigold said. “There was the time with the pipe bomb. And the cannon. And the forest fire–a firefighter died in there, remember. And others. So many others.”

When asked what people could be doing to stop the tragic gender reveal party deaths, Marigold said, “Simple! Stop having a party talking about if your kid’s going to have a dick.”