BREAKING: Drag Queens are Grooming Children to Think Paying Performers is Normal.
We can not, under any circumstances, let children know that the arts are an option, let alone a potentially lucrative one.
Author: Alex Seligsohn
2022 Officially “Year of the Jeopardy! Gay”
We can finally finish what we started: The Year of the Jeopardy! Gay!” said a spokesperson for all gays everywhere. “May we continue to dominate!”
Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn
We all know rule 34 of the internet. “If you can think of it, there IS porn of it!” Well, maybe we don’t ALL know the rule, but Ted Cruz sure does! When Criticizing Disney’s opposition to Florida’s “don’t say gay” bill, Ted Cruz lamented that we would now have to see cartoons of ”Mickey… Continue reading Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn
Local Woman Wonders When “Power of the Dog” Gets Gay.
HOLLYWOOD, CA–Tonight is the Night! The Oscars! The ACADEMY AWARDS! Local lesbian/movie fan Jessica Zhang wanted to watch a few Best Picture contenders before the big night, and, as a member of the LGBTQ community, she had heard Power of the Dog described as a “gay Cowboy movie.” “That sounds awesome,” said Zhang, who had… Continue reading Local Woman Wonders When “Power of the Dog” Gets Gay.
“Trans People Are So Sensitive” Says Athlete Who Cried After Losing Literal Game.
BLACKSBURG, VA – You hear cries of unfairness all the time! “Trans people are ruining sports!” Or rather, trans women. For SOME REASON, nobody seems to care about trans men in men’s sports, but that’s an issue for a different day! The goal of any sport is to be the best…unless you’re trans, in which… Continue reading “Trans People Are So Sensitive” Says Athlete Who Cried After Losing Literal Game.
Joe Biden Giving Texas Until the Count of 3 to Stop Attacking Trans Kids or ELSE!
AUSTIN, TX – Texas has been a hotbed of transphobia lately…and always! Governor Greg Abbott’s latest transphobic tantrum comes in the form of attacking trans youth, going so far as to investigate supportive parents for child abuse. According to republicans like Abbott, basic medical care and saving kids’ lives is “monstrous” and must be stopped.… Continue reading Joe Biden Giving Texas Until the Count of 3 to Stop Attacking Trans Kids or ELSE!
Todrick Hall Shocked to Learn “Big Brother” Cameras Actually Always Rolling.
You know you messed up when you’re an LGBTQ icon, but even the community isn’t rooting for you! That’s the situation in which musician/scammer Todrick Hall found himself after leaving the Big Brother House. Well, we are still unsure if Todrick is aware that he did anything wrong. Upon leaving the house, where he was… Continue reading Todrick Hall Shocked to Learn “Big Brother” Cameras Actually Always Rolling.
Local Woman Gets Takeout Immediately After Grocery Shopping; Ruins Week.
When Lydia’s husband/Gillian’s step-father, who wishes not to be named, suggested meatloaf, Lydia snapped back that meatloaf “was just bunless burgers” and called him a “useless idiot.”
Local Enby Considers Possibility of Maybe Exercising One Day.
Max has considered thinking about exercising. Maybe. The idea has crossed their mind several times now. Lucas reports that they’ve almost taking up running several times in the past several years. At LEAST four times.
Local Lesbian Becomes a “Snake Gay.”
SHERMAN OAKS, CA – Honestly, 2022 has been pretty boring for Sherman Oaks lesbian Cameron Hillman. Sure, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, but after two years even THAT gets boring. Hillman works in sales from home, and the excitement of having free time quickly turned to boredom after so many baked goods… Continue reading Local Lesbian Becomes a “Snake Gay.”