Local femme Leslie Kipling is having trouble meeting women. Her matches on dating apps don’t usually flourish beyond a few text exchanges, Covid concerns keep Leslie out of gay bars, and she can’t seem to attract other queer women in the wild because, as she’s been told, she doesn’t “look gay.” To combat this issue… Continue reading Aspiring Lesbian Actor Wants “Gay Haircut”; Can’t Afford New Headshots
JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING — Joan Horowitz woke up the morning of January 7th like she did every other morning before that one. She opened her eyes, turned off her alarm, and, squinting from the sun in the windows, rolled over to greet her furry little friends. What she saw would change the world forever. Joan’s… Continue reading Local Woman “Literally Dead” After Witnessing Cats Being Cute.
FORT LAUDERDALE, FLORIDA – “It wasn’t looking good for the first few minutes,” said local gay man Anton Larchmont of the new teams on The Amazing Race, which premiered last night. Larchmont reported that when he first turned on the program he felt fear. Pure fear. What if this year’s Amazing Race was ALL hetero??… Continue reading Local Gay Man Relieved “Amazing Race” Features a Cool, Queer Couple
Seriously? A Christmas engagement? That’s so tacky! An engagement is supposed to be a special, unique moment for the couple. I don’t understand why you would pick such an unoriginal day to pop the question! There is zero sense behind this heteronormative need to propose on what’s already the most popular holiday in America. Could… Continue reading I’m Sick of Tacky Holiday Engagements Unless You’re Gay, in Which Case OMG CONGRATS LOVE IT!
Yesterday was Boxing Day! No, not the day when you put on boxing gloves and whack other people in the face. But that would be fun and cute, right? No, no, it’s the day when you box up your unwanted, ugly gifts and make those returns! That’s why it’s called BOXing day, right? Because you… Continue reading Queers Estranged From Family Ecstatic to Have Zero Gift Returns
Sorry, Covid! You can’t stop me. You won’t stop me. Christmas is here, and tradition is tradition. Ive seen Fiddler on the Roof. I’m an American. A JEWISH-American. The government wants us to cancel our holiday plans? They want us to not participate in our yearly customs? Well, you can’t stop me from doing what… Continue reading BLOG: Omicron Won’t Stop Me From Celebrating Christmas as Usual Because I am a Jewish Hermit.
Rita Cooper was just trying to drive home from work on a rainy day. As the local, conservative woman accelerated her pickup truck onto the freeway ramp, she couldn’t believe what she saw – a giant, gleaming rainbow right over the traffic-filled road. There it was, coming down loudly from the sky, right in the… Continue reading “Why is Sexual Orientation Brought into EVERYTHING,” Says Conservative After Rainstorm.
Is there anything more exciting than welcoming a new baby into the family? Of course not! That’s why we, as a society, keep inventing new ways to celebrate a tiny person who doesn’t exist yet, for reasons that may or may not involve loads of free gifts for the parents-to-be. It’s not just baby… Continue reading It’s a Twink! Expectant Parents Throw Sexuality Reveal Party
We all know the story of Hanukkah, right? RIGHT?! Well, for all of you children and/or anti-semites who don’t, there was a small amount of oil that lasted long enough to keep burning for EIGHT DAYS! A MIRACLE! In a TOTALLY similar scenario, Amy Schneider, current Jeopardy Champ and first trans player to qualify for… Continue reading A Hanukkah Miracle: Transgender Awareness Week Lasting Well Beyond 8 Days Thanks to Amy Schneider!
All across America, millions of people got together with their families over the Thanksgiving holiday. The long weekend marked the first time in two years that many families were able to celebrate together, in-person, IRL, due to the Covid-19 Pandemic. Thanksgiving also marked a LOT of misgendering of non-binary people by their families. Specifically –… Continue reading Local They/Them Got She/Her’d SO Hard Over Holiday Weekend.
