LOS ANGELES, CA- After the release of the the trailer for the latest Matrix movie, “Matrix Resurrections”, renewed attention has come out for the original trilogy. The focus is increasingly on how the directors the Wachowski sisters’ trans identities shaped the mythology of the movies. One holdout remains against this interpretation of the popular movies.… Continue reading Ben Shapiro Fails to Understand “The Matrix”
EVANSTON, IL- Local leftist high schooler Allisa Lawrence has lately been giving her unvaccinated family members earfuls about “trusting in science,” encouraging them to get over their “irrational” beliefs and just get the shot for fuck’s sake. She continuously posts links to numerous scientific studies on Facebook that she may or may not have read… Continue reading “Trust in Science,” says Leftist who knows little about Science
CINCINNATI, OH- Citing several popular YouTube channels, a group of surgeons known as Committee of MedICal Surgeons Against Nose Suffocation have come out against wearing face masks while performing the most difficult of procedures. “Surgeons have been safely performing surgeries for years while wearing masks, but with all these self-appointed experts who can’t handle wearing… Continue reading Mask-Free Operating Rooms Coming Soon?
LOUDON COUNTY, VA- Teacher Laura Morris made headlines recently when she dramatically quit rather than refer to trans students by their true names. While sobbing, she quoted her “believe in Christ” as justification for misgendering students, and railed against the schools for not letting her be sufficiently transphobic. As for her students, they’re overwhelmingly approving… Continue reading Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”
SALEM, MA- Ghost hunters around the country are all reporting a curious phenomena. Not only are hauntings up dramatically, but over the last year, there has been a sharp rise in hauntings where the ghosts involved would shout “Freedom”. A cause for this is still being investigated. “Well, it started just as soon as my… Continue reading Paranormal Experts Agree: Sharp Rise in Ghosts Shouting “Freedom!”
Britney Spear’s legal fight to exit her father’s conservatorship on her has been making the headlines lately. This has promoted many people to question the necessity of the arrangement, noting the singer appears to be in a much more stable place than when the conservatorship started. It’s also caused others to even question if the… Continue reading Top Eight Celebrities who Need Conservators More Than Britney Spears
MILWAUKEE, WI–An associate editor of the news site Queercoded is in the hospital today after over-doing it with Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites. The bites are pieces of the cookie dough commonly used in the famous pair’s ice cream, but sold individually in the frozen section. The editor in question is believed to have… Continue reading Queercoded Editor Overdoses on Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites
NEW MEXICO- Billionaire entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson and six others died earlier today when Virgin’s VSS Unity exploded moments after launch in a failed attempt to go into space. The space ship was supposed to travel through space for 9 minutes before returning to Earth, but an apparent problem with the cup holders not being… Continue reading Richard Branson Dies in Fiery Explosion
YOUR BEDROOM- Look, we need to have a discussion. This is becoming a problem. But everyone you meet cannot simply just secretly an egg, (how closeted transgender people are sometimes referred to). I know it’s tempting to see signs of gender non-conformity in all those that you meet, but it’s simply statistically unlikely that everyone… Continue reading Not Everyone Is Secretly Trans
Forgot long haired Chihuahuas that get nervous and pee all the time, these pets will perfectly complement your alternative lifestyle. 10. BeesYes, they can sting and be difficult to love, but who isn’t these days? 9. Emotional Support Bearded DragonsLike lizards in cute vests, and need help with your anxiety? Want to come out as… Continue reading Top Ten Gayest Pets
