LEHIGH ACRES, FL–A local woman idly dreamed today of visiting friends she had made over the Internet over the last 5 years. In part of this process, the woman searched on various travel web sites in search of a good deal on a flight she will never take. The woman, Glenda Rossar, 42 has made… Continue reading Woman Searches For Flights She Will Never Take
MADISON, WI–Examining the receipt of a credit card customer, local waiter Ivan Dreyer discovered a rude note on it and no tip. The receipt said that there was no tip because Dreyer was a “sinfull [sic] homosexual.” “That’s ridiculous,” Dreyer said. “It is. My husband and I have been married since it was legal and… Continue reading Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500
GENEVA–Physicists around the world looked at TV screens absorbing the news; there has been a long held belief that the easy questions were answered, that there was nothing obvious left and that all the new physics was full of theory and massive super colliders. However, astrophysicists were shaken to the ground when the news was… Continue reading Astrophysics In Turmoil At New Evidence Regarding Time And Charlie Watts’ Death
TARRE HAUTE, IN–Announcing a major breakthrough, a team of leading researchers at Indiana State University made waves as they stood in front of the collected faculty. They determined that a woman on the internet knows she is fat. The woman, who they identified as only Patient Mae, is overweight and knows it. “It was a… Continue reading Scientists Report: Woman On Internet Knows She’s Fat.
OPEN LETTER: Hey, Frank, we were watching you speed-run through the Cayo Perico heist on GTA5: Online. And seriously that was some really good playing, but I gotta ask you one small favor. Can you please wear underwear next time? It’s not that I’m a prude or that you’re gross but it’s just that you… Continue reading HEY FRANK: We Know The Next Gen Graphics Are Amazing But Please Wear Underwear While Streaming
JACKSONVILLE, FL–Floundering in his single preseason game appearance, the former quarterback turned broadcaster turned baseball player turned some-other-position-on-a-football-team, Tim Tebow has been released by the Jacksonville Jaguars. When interviewed about his supposed favorite football player, God suggested that maybe Tebow should have taken the hint a few years back. “You see, I don’t pay much… Continue reading Jacksonville Jaguars Cut Tim Tebow, God Refuses To Help Him
TOLEDO, OH–Listening intently to some of his boyfriends’ friends, a local gay man was unfortunately reminded of his age as the visitors talked about the latest incidents of what some called “cancel culture.” The man then unfortunately learned of the existence of a rapper named DaBaby. Miles Allen, 39, is a little older than some… Continue reading Elderly Gay Forced To Learn Who DaBaby Is
ROCKFORD, IL–Following dozens of tweets and emails and web site refreshes, the PlayStation 5 still remains an elusive item for some, including us at QueerCoded, Inc., Headquarters. Sony has of yet refused to provide a free console. “This really, really, really, sucks,” says executive vice president of QueerCoded Gaming, Jen Durbent. “It’s not for lack… Continue reading BOGUS! QueerCoded Gaming Still Hasn’t Received A Free PS5
EUGENE, OR–Franklin Witt, 28, of Eugene, Oregon, has opinions about transgender women. And he is not afraid to say it. “Those trans activists have really gotten my suspenders twisted this time,” he says, looking up under the brim of his hat. “They are too loud and obnoxious. These men want to pee in women’s restrooms,… Continue reading Cis Man Says Things About Trans Women
TOKYO–Facing increased scrutiny, the small group of transgender athletes from around the world competing in the 2021 Toykyo Olympics come together to solidify their plans: Patience. These elite athletes plan to bide their time until they can utterly dominate the Olympics. The specifics of the timeline, from decades to hundreds of years, remains under wraps… Continue reading OLYMPIC SPECIAL: Trans Athletes Bide Time Until Utter Domination!
