Celebrities · Comedy · Pop Culture

Bachelorette Star Does Stand-Up Once, Ends Engagement

Alex Seligsohn

Bachelorette and Pro Comic Katie Thurston

SAN DIEGO – Last week, rumors were swirling that former Bachelorette Katie Thurston was making her stand-up comedy debut. Despite never once making a joke all season, Katie was often called “hilarious” by the eligible men competing in hopes of winning…her.

In an article reported by Tvshowcase.com, we found video clips of Katie talking about pooping at work for a while, as she triumphantly took the stage to open for Whitney Cummings! She did it! Sort of!

However, just days after her poop-bit debut, Bachelor Nation was shocked to learn that Katie and Blake Moynes, recipient of Katie’s final rose (literally, not some weird sex thing), have SPLIT! HUGE shock to find out that the engagement didn’t last long past the Bachelorette finale for the 20-somethingth time! 

So what went wrong? Why did Blake bother to show up late to the game just to leave the engagement early? That was a fun little insider reference! But seriously, what could’ve gone wrong?!?!

While most bachelor fans can’t seem to figure out what could’ve soured this made-to-last relationship, stand-up comedians nation-wide have a few ideas of caused the break-up. 

“I always say, never EVER start stand-up if the idea of love or mild happiness is important to you,” said Jordan Kensington, an aspiring comedian whose girlfriend broke up with him because of the frequent late nights that comedy required. “It just can’t work with any remotely normal person.” Kensington also reported that his ex hated when he talked about their sex life on stage, or used her mental health history for laughs “for some reason.”
Others say maybe she immediately got signed and went on a world tour called “My Poop Smells Like Roses.” The world may never know. But one thing is for sure: if you want to pursue standup, all you have to do is work hard, practice, and be the lead of a season of one of the planets most lucrative reality tv franchises!