KANSAS CITY, MO–Settling down after a long day at work, a local woman suddenly found a cat sitting on her lap. It had been years, but finally her roommate’s cat has deemed her worthy. Stacey Brennan, 25, was at first startled and then slowly came to enjoy the bundle of orange warmth that seemed to… Continue reading Finally! Cat Has Deemed Woman Worthy
OREGON, ILLINOIS– Local queer Zak Johansson is really excited about all the recent talk on social media about camping. Posts and searches for “camping” have skyrocketed since last Thursday, and Zak is hoping this means they can find people to share a tent with on an upcoming trip. “It’s just, you know, so hard usually… Continue reading Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With
Rita Cooper was just trying to drive home from work on a rainy day. As the local, conservative woman accelerated her pickup truck onto the freeway ramp, she couldn’t believe what she saw – a giant, gleaming rainbow right over the traffic-filled road. There it was, coming down loudly from the sky, right in the… Continue reading “Why is Sexual Orientation Brought into EVERYTHING,” Says Conservative After Rainstorm.
Let’s get it out of the way, you’re awful. But there’s still something we need from you: A collection of worlds from which to extend our leader’s empire in this Galaxy. Sancho Mu Arae e is also known as HD160691e, this planet is named after the character in the totally hot Don Quixote. Not to… Continue reading List: Let’s Just Say We’ll Be Impressed If You Conquer These Planets In The Name Of Our Space Emperor
Despite advances in human rights in recent decades, LGBTQ+ people are still a largely oppressed group. Straight people, often jealous of our sweet, sweet oppression, are always finding ways to cash in on that envious desire to have their existence debated. That’s why local, cisgender, heterosexual male, Jacob Lang, has come out as a Sapiosexual. … Continue reading BREAKING: Sapiosexual Actually Classist, Elitist Misogynist
Forgot long haired Chihuahuas that get nervous and pee all the time, these pets will perfectly complement your alternative lifestyle. 10. BeesYes, they can sting and be difficult to love, but who isn’t these days? 9. Emotional Support Bearded DragonsLike lizards in cute vests, and need help with your anxiety? Want to come out as… Continue reading Top Ten Gayest Pets
