ENTIRE UNITED STATES – “Well fuck that shit,” the LGBT community declared as one this Friday. The exclamation, which came in response to the news of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, has been the largest of many recent instances of the community coming together to express disdain for a recent political event. Roe… Continue reading “Well, Fuck That Shit,” says LGBT community
LOS GATOS, CA–In the recent notices about Netflix’s July offerings, there’s one stand out stand-up special that has all the audiences talking. After taking a brief respite during pride month in June by releasing material from Robin Tran and Jaye McBride, Netflix announced that they will release a special entitled “Flushed” by a comedian who… Continue reading Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special
We can not, under any circumstances, let children know that the arts are an option, let alone a potentially lucrative one.
WASHINGTON DC–Supporters of LGBT equality notched a much-needed win May 3rd, when a leaked draft of a Supreme Court decision revealed the country is finally going to be oppressing straight people for once. “Frankly, I just couldn’t be happier about this,” commented LGBT advocate and activist Cynthia Montoya. “America has a long history of excluding… Continue reading Equality Win! Government Makes Life Worse For Straight People For Once
TOPEKA, KS–It’s not even the end of the school year, but teens are already looking forward to next year and a new trend is already emerging.
We can finally finish what we started: The Year of the Jeopardy! Gay!” said a spokesperson for all gays everywhere. “May we continue to dominate!”
We all know rule 34 of the internet. “If you can think of it, there IS porn of it!” Well, maybe we don’t ALL know the rule, but Ted Cruz sure does! When Criticizing Disney’s opposition to Florida’s “don’t say gay” bill, Ted Cruz lamented that we would now have to see cartoons of ”Mickey… Continue reading Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn
HOLLYWOOD, CA–Tonight is the Night! The Oscars! The ACADEMY AWARDS! Local lesbian/movie fan Jessica Zhang wanted to watch a few Best Picture contenders before the big night, and, as a member of the LGBTQ community, she had heard Power of the Dog described as a “gay Cowboy movie.” “That sounds awesome,” said Zhang, who had… Continue reading Local Woman Wonders When “Power of the Dog” Gets Gay.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT–In a surprising but welcome turn, Republican Governor Spencer Cox of Utah, vetoed a law banning trans athletes from competing in girls’ sports. Cox believes the bill needlessly targets youth who already had to live in Utah. “The dead-eyed freaks of this burned wasteland elected me to mitigate the pain of living… Continue reading Governor Vetos Anti-Trans Law, Claims Living In Utah Already Oppressive
BLACKSBURG, VA – You hear cries of unfairness all the time! “Trans people are ruining sports!” Or rather, trans women. For SOME REASON, nobody seems to care about trans men in men’s sports, but that’s an issue for a different day! The goal of any sport is to be the best…unless you’re trans, in which… Continue reading “Trans People Are So Sensitive” Says Athlete Who Cried After Losing Literal Game.
