Tucker Carlson’s fury of the androgynous redesign of the Brown and Green M&M’s reportedly goes deeper than his normal performative rage, leading into a revealing look of the twisted chocolate-induced sex practices of the Fox News host.
TULSA, OK–Local trans guy Matt Theman laments the Omicron surge in his area and around the world as only he can. “Of course it’s awful, and needs to end, if for no other reason but that I need to have top surgery.” “Like, when ever I see idiots without masks, I want to scream at… Continue reading Covid Needs to End So I Can Finally Get My Tits Removed
JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING — Joan Horowitz woke up the morning of January 7th like she did every other morning before that one. She opened her eyes, turned off her alarm, and, squinting from the sun in the windows, rolled over to greet her furry little friends. What she saw would change the world forever. Joan’s… Continue reading Local Woman “Literally Dead” After Witnessing Cats Being Cute.
FORT LAUDERDALE, FLORIDA – “It wasn’t looking good for the first few minutes,” said local gay man Anton Larchmont of the new teams on The Amazing Race, which premiered last night. Larchmont reported that when he first turned on the program he felt fear. Pure fear. What if this year’s Amazing Race was ALL hetero??… Continue reading Local Gay Man Relieved “Amazing Race” Features a Cool, Queer Couple
WAUSAU, WI– The question on everyone’s lips is what is in the pants of local non-binary firebrand Praxis Jones. And the answer is, to what should not be much of a surprise, it’s a Colt 45. “Be the change in the world you want to see,” says Jones, who sports long, purple hair, a coat… Continue reading We Found Out What’s In This Enby’s Pants — It’s a Gun
Sorry, Covid! You can’t stop me. You won’t stop me. Christmas is here, and tradition is tradition. Ive seen Fiddler on the Roof. I’m an American. A JEWISH-American. The government wants us to cancel our holiday plans? They want us to not participate in our yearly customs? Well, you can’t stop me from doing what… Continue reading BLOG: Omicron Won’t Stop Me From Celebrating Christmas as Usual Because I am a Jewish Hermit.
Rita Cooper was just trying to drive home from work on a rainy day. As the local, conservative woman accelerated her pickup truck onto the freeway ramp, she couldn’t believe what she saw – a giant, gleaming rainbow right over the traffic-filled road. There it was, coming down loudly from the sky, right in the… Continue reading “Why is Sexual Orientation Brought into EVERYTHING,” Says Conservative After Rainstorm.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND–In a heartwarming moment just in time for the holidays, J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, abandoned her transphobic biases today after reading a tweet implying her very characters would be supportive of trans people. It’s the kind of moment of beautiful and sincere human connection that could only happen on Twitter.… Continue reading JK Rowling’s Heart Grows 3 Sizes on Reading Harry Potter Themed Trans Rights Tweet
Is there anything more exciting than welcoming a new baby into the family? Of course not! That’s why we, as a society, keep inventing new ways to celebrate a tiny person who doesn’t exist yet, for reasons that may or may not involve loads of free gifts for the parents-to-be. It’s not just baby… Continue reading It’s a Twink! Expectant Parents Throw Sexuality Reveal Party
We all know the story of Hanukkah, right? RIGHT?! Well, for all of you children and/or anti-semites who don’t, there was a small amount of oil that lasted long enough to keep burning for EIGHT DAYS! A MIRACLE! In a TOTALLY similar scenario, Amy Schneider, current Jeopardy Champ and first trans player to qualify for… Continue reading A Hanukkah Miracle: Transgender Awareness Week Lasting Well Beyond 8 Days Thanks to Amy Schneider!
