Category: Uncategorized

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For As Little as I’m Paying People; You Would Think They Could Show Up To Work More

Josh

DAVENPORT, IA– “Nobody wants to work anymore,” laments call center director Doug Osborne. “We pay $10! That’s more than minimum wage! People should be thanking me; they’re so ungrateful. They can’t even be bothered to show up to work. What are they doing? Spending time with family? Pisgah, how does that help anyone?” “When I… Continue reading For As Little as I’m Paying People; You Would Think They Could Show Up To Work More

Covid Is An Excuse for Queers to Avoid Their Families
Family · Health · Uncategorized

Covid Is An Excuse for Queers to Avoid Their Families

Josh

MINNEAPOLIS, MN– The holiday season is upon us, and it’s a time for families around the country to get together and celebrate, and drunkenly argue about politics and minor personal squabbles while trying to pretend they don’t all hate each other. However, just like last year, a little issue called “the pandemic” is keeping some… Continue reading Covid Is An Excuse for Queers to Avoid Their Families

Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well
Celebrities · Sexuality · Uncategorized

Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well

Josh

VULCAN, CANADA- Pop singer Demi Lovato recently, among other things, released a new line of vibrating sex toys called the “Demi Wand”. The vibrators, which retail for $79, and are suitable not only humans but also creatures from other planets who have traveled to Earth looking for freaky inter-species sex. However, this price point is… Continue reading Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well

“Trust in Science,” says Leftist who knows little about Science
Health · Science · Uncategorized

“Trust in Science,” says Leftist who knows little about Science

Josh

EVANSTON, IL- Local leftist high schooler Allisa Lawrence has lately been giving her unvaccinated family members earfuls about “trusting in science,” encouraging them to get over their “irrational” beliefs and just get the shot for fuck’s sake. She continuously posts links to numerous scientific studies on Facebook that she may or may not have read… Continue reading “Trust in Science,” says Leftist who knows little about Science

Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”
Education · News Shorts · Uncategorized

Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”

Josh

LOUDON COUNTY, VA- Teacher Laura Morris made headlines recently when she dramatically quit rather than refer to trans students by their true names. While sobbing, she quoted her “believe in Christ” as justification for misgendering students, and railed against the schools for not letting her be sufficiently transphobic. As for her students, they’re overwhelmingly approving… Continue reading Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”

Top Eight Celebrities who Need Conservators More Than Britney Spears
Celebrities · Lifestyle · Music · Uncategorized

Top Eight Celebrities who Need Conservators More Than Britney Spears

Josh

Britney Spear’s legal fight to exit her father’s conservatorship on her has been making the headlines lately. This has promoted many people to question the necessity of the arrangement, noting the singer appears to be in a much more stable place than when the conservatorship started. It’s also caused others to even question if the… Continue reading Top Eight Celebrities who Need Conservators More Than Britney Spears