AUSTIN, TX–Sources have confirmed that absolutely everyone around Sophie McMath and Alexa Portillo, a lesbian couple in a long-term relationship, are convinced the two are just friends, including Sophie McMath and Alexa Portillo. 

“Well, obviously I’m attracted to her,” said Alexa of Sophie, the woman she is unaware of having been in a lesbian relationship with for nearly two years. “I mean, who wouldn’t be? She’s an objectively attractive woman. And sure, sometimes when we’re friend-cuddling or friend-sleeping together, I have thoughts, but that’s not gay or anything.” 

“At the end of the day, we’re just close friends,” she added, incorrectly. 

Countless people have shared the unfortunate confusion of and about the romantic and homosexual couple. At various times, the lovers have been confused for, among other things, sisters, cousins, mother and daughter, college roommates, mother and daughter but the other way, sisters in the religious sense, adopted sisters and, in the case of themselves, very affectionate friends. 

Helen Joyce, an LGBT advocate, commented, “It’s a very common experience for lesbians, and in some situations gay men and those in other queer relationships, to be recontextualized as friends by observers. Often, this expresses the unacknowledged belief that it’s rude or insulting to read a relationship as queer. Even allies still sometimes believe this at some level.” 

“As for Sophie and Alexa,” she added, “they’re just both very silly.” 

For her part, Sophie also unwittingly confirmed the relationship. “I would date her in a heartbeat if I thought she were interested in me. But she only sees me as a friend and I don’t want to ruin that by trying to make it something that it isn’t.” [In fact, it is. Ed.].

After tearing her eyes away from the ceiling where they had drifted as she thought about her “friend”,  she asked “What article did you say this was for?”