OPEN LETTER:

Hey, Frank, we were watching you speed-run through the Cayo Perico heist on GTA5: Online. And seriously that was some really good playing, but I gotta ask you one small favor. Can you please wear underwear next time?

It’s not that I’m a prude or that you’re gross but it’s just that you really weren’t even talking a lot about what you were doing. And that’s great! You were into the game. Sweet. But put on some underwear.

And listen, it’s probably not a good idea. If your ex saw that, though? Imagine how fast you would be back in the courtroom. And what do I know? I’m just your husband. Please put on underwear. We have been keeping up with the laundry after all. And, I mean, put on the pair I like. I’m literally laying in bed right now.

Love you, sweetie.

Dave