WASHINGTON D.C. — A journalist, while having lunch with a colleague, scrolled through his personal cloud-based storage collection of 1.23 terabytes of transgender pornography, narrating what he saw. Wednesday, Jesse Señalar, 40, insisted his transphobic writings are justified with the perversions portrayed in his personal pornography collection. Señalar, who works as a “journalist” who primarily makes a living writing speculative fiction, insisted he was in no way attracted to the people who he saw in the photographs. And videos. So many videos. 

“I am not a mindless bigot,” Señalar insisted. After scrolling through the gallery full of primarily transgender women, he said, “I am not a transphobic journalist. Really, these images I have collected over the past 26 years show a deep and pervasive level of perversion. I mean, check this one out.” He then showed a photo of two trans women kissing while witnessing a pride parade. “Disturbing. It’s almost…wholesome.”

When the waiter stopped to refill the coffee, Señalar showed the photo to the man. “What do you say about this? Would you want that to happen in front of your children? In a library?”

The waiter responded, “They are just kissing. Like me and my wife. Why do I care?”

“So you’re part of their cult,” Señalar insisted. “Let me ask: have you ever had your genitals shocked and been prayed over to make you straight.” The waiter looked confused and walked away.

“Just what I thought,” Señalar said. “Proof positive. This is the real conspiracy. I bet he’s de-transitioned. I need to get his number. Maybe I should ask his doctor.”

Then Señalar asked the hostess if she was transgender. “I can always tell,” he yelled as a manager removed him from the restaurant. “I asked. I tried to talk to one of them. That proves I’m not a transphobic journalist.”

Critic Diane McKenzie, herself a transgender journalist, said that it was not just the pornography, just the sheer massive amount. “Like, how much do you need to get off?” She asked.

At press time, Señalar was on a bus, asking random passengers if a given video was “hot.”