LOVES PARK, IL–Leaning over their collection, a local queer person wondered precisely what sticker to use. Angus Nielsen considered carefully what sticker they would place on their laptop and, also, where on said laptop the sticker would be affixed. Nielsen, 39, said, “This is my work computer. So the bathroom sticker is right out. As is probably the Kill God one.” Nielsen recently acquired a new job as a programmer, but his primary joy is his collection of railroad spikes. “I could put the fist one up there which is kind of antifa, which would do good to maybe irk some of my rather right-wing colleagues.” They smiled at the thought. “I mean the gender neutral one I’m saving to put on a rather famous bigot’s grave, so that’s right out.”

Nielsen’s passion in railroad spikes grew over the years, but it started with a story. “Have you heard of Phineas Gage?” they asked. Of course, everyone has heard of Phineas Gage because it’s 2021 and everyone has the Internet.

“I’m not sure which one defines me as a person. I mean, though, I have no idea why I have some of them? The cleu one? I found that one in the desert. And Greg Proops gave me the kittens one which is cool but do I want to say that Greg Proops gave me a sticker at a recording of his podcast? Who buys tickets to podcast recordings? Besides me. I guess.”

The young queer sat placing them all on the back of the new laptop their workplace provided. Did they want to cover the logo? Of course they did, but that placement wouldn’t work too well. And what if they regretted the placement or there was a crease or something?

“It’s probably safest to not use any of them,” they said, putting them all back in a pile in a drawer for later possible use–which would never happen obviously. “I really just can’t make that level of commitment.”