When Lydia’s husband/Gillian’s step-father, who wishes not to be named, suggested meatloaf, Lydia snapped back that meatloaf “was just bunless burgers” and called him a “useless idiot.”
NEW YORK- The board of the LGBT community called a press conference yesterday in order to announce their yearly list of objects and ideas which are gay now. The conference drew a broad audience of gay people looking for things to post about online and cishet people looking for what to avoid, but not because… Continue reading LGBT Community Presents Latest List of Objects, Ideas Which Are Gay
NEWPORT, RI– Local trans guy and barista Max Governor has discovered the secret to eternal youth – shaving. Customers at his coffee shop are astonished, and jealous, of the change. “It’s amazing; I wish I could take years off like that myself,” says local Book Group attendee Sue Armstrong. “I keep buying these overpriced creams… Continue reading Trans Guy Takes 15 Years off His Appearance In 5 Minutes! Find Out His Secret! (Spoiler: He Shaved)
Max has considered thinking about exercising. Maybe. The idea has crossed their mind several times now. Lucas reports that they’ve almost taking up running several times in the past several years. At LEAST four times.
WASHINGTON DC–After three years of research, Queer Coded’s own investigative reporter and lesbian Samantha Mollins has finally released her bombshell report: girls pretty. “I was surprised when the conclusion of all my work fit into two words myself,” Mollins mused. “But then I thought about it for a while, and then I thought about it… Continue reading Lesbian Investigative Reporter Releases Bombshell Report: Girls Pretty
SHERMAN OAKS, CA – Honestly, 2022 has been pretty boring for Sherman Oaks lesbian Cameron Hillman. Sure, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, but after two years even THAT gets boring. Hillman works in sales from home, and the excitement of having free time quickly turned to boredom after so many baked goods… Continue reading Local Lesbian Becomes a “Snake Gay.”
THE MIDWEST SOMEWHERE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT- As controversy swirls around renegade podcaster Joe Rogan’s $100 million deal with Spotify, one Queer Coded editor is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice – he’s willing to appear on his podcast. “So I saw Rogan’s statement about his Covid denying nonsense, where he said he should have… Continue reading Fuck it, I guess I have to go on Joe Rogan’s Podcast
MEMPHIS, TN– Terry McKinnon, local wine mom and Instagram user, has filed a suit against her parents for 42 years ago vaccinating her against measles, polio, and a host of other diseases commonly vaccinated against as a child. “I mean, I love my parents, but I can’t let this slide!” Says McKinnon, while rearranging her… Continue reading Anti-Vaxxer Sues Parents for Vaccinating Her Against Polio As a Child
STERLING, IL– Local lawyer and CNN junkie Laura Ashland is in a state of confusion. After days of the news hyping up a possible confrontation between the US and Russia over Ukraine, the topic has been seemingly completely dropped in favor of Justice Breyer’s impending retirement. “We’ve had days, DAYS, of being told Russia is… Continue reading Wait, Are We Going to War With Russia Or Not?
Some cisgender people are being diagnosed with what some professionals are calling Conscription Onset Gender Disorder, or COGD
