HOLLYWOOD, CA – “Love is dead.” That’s what JoJo Siwa fans, aka Varsity Members of the J-Team, are Tweeting nationwide after learning that our beloved queer icon JoJo and her girlfriend, That One Chick, have broken up. We are in mourning. We are not well. The news is not hitting the LGBTQ community well, as… Continue reading JoJo Siwa Fans Heartbroken After Breakup with What’s-Her-Face
BANGOR, MN – After over a year of patiently waiting, fans of Succession, the hit HBO drama about awful, rich White people, gleefully watched the series’ third season premier Sunday night. Among those millions of eager viewers: lesbian couple and huge fans of the show, Connie Villanueva and Rom Sheldon. “We are obsessed,” Villanueva… Continue reading Queer Couple Watches “Succession,” Appropriating Straight Culture
INDIANAPOLIS, IN–Following a particularly egregious display of homophobic behavior, local woman Trina Holland declined to go to Human Resources to report the incident. “I know I should, but I don’t want to rock the boat,” she said while she took down a photo of her and her wife on their honeymoon from her cubicle.… Continue reading Half Of LGBT Workforce Faced Discrimination, Other Half Don’t Want To Rock Boat
AUSTEN, TX- Local right-wing radio listeners this evening are mourning the loss of radio personality Stanley “Shoot ‘Em Up” Simmons, who died of Covid. He follows a string of other prominent conservative voices, who have railed against Covid precautions and are dying at an alarming rate. “All according to plan,” states liberal strategist Serena Munson.… Continue reading Liberal’s Nefarious Pandemic Plot Going to Plan
DES MOINES, IA–Awaking to the crushing realization that even the best dreams are nightmares in disguise and there is no hope even in those hours of blissful slumber, 43-year-old Robert Forrester of Des Moines woke up last night to what most officials are calling the saddest dream ever and left him sobbing on the side… Continue reading Area Man Has, Like, The Saddest Dream Ever
Not but just a few years ago, the LGBTQ Community had to hide who they were at all times. But now, we have a multitude of holidays that appeared to pop up out of nowhere for the sake of a Facebook post, such as the recently celebrated “Non-Binary Day” and yesterday, National Coming Out Day!… Continue reading This National Coming Out Day, American Queers Stayed Inside En Masse
BEVERLY HILLS, CA- A month after Caitlyn Jenner lost her bid for governor of California, Queer Coded editors notice that, well, Caitlyn Jenner lost her bid for governor of California a month ago. “No one’s really surprised she lost,” says Californian political pundit Jay Munsey. “Who even supported her? Not pro-trans people, not anti-trans people.… Continue reading Jenner’s Gubernatorial Hopes Go Down In Flames; No One Cares
LOS ANGELES- TERFs all over the US and the UK today are welcoming their latest, and most unexpected member, comedian Dave Chappelle. The comedian has generated a lot of controversy in his latest standup special The Closer, in which he makes a number of statements considered transphobic. In particular, he addresses the most famous TERF… Continue reading TERFs Welcome Dave Chappelle with Open Arms
DAVENPORT, IA–Following fears that adults would provide free THC-infused candy from the wretched sin-soaked state of Illinois, a new threat has emerged to frighten parents of children. Some people fear that so-called “titty skittles” will enter the candy supply, causing the nation’s youth to transgender. “No. Just no,” said one transgender, speaking under the condition… Continue reading Parents Beware: Titty Skittles Hot New Candy
WASHINGTON D.C.–Announcing that nothing will ever get better, Senate and House Democrats have announced that their agenda was implemented as they had envisioned. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said at a press conference, “We have reached our goals and we are proud to announce that we have disappointed America yet again. It was a smashing success!… Continue reading “Vote Blue No Matter Who” A Smashing Success At Disappointing Democratic Voters
