AMES, IA– Local queer person Lynx Harris recently discovered the term “Aegosexual”, and immediately connected with it. The term, which refers to people on the asexual spectrum who have a disconnect with the object of sexual attraction and themselves, happens to describe perfectly what Lynx has been unable to express in their life, but is also just another fucking thing Lynx now has to explain to everyone.

“Look, first I came out as a lesbian, but then I didn’t even date people at all. At some point I changed it to ‘bisexual, but I’m not going to sleep with you,’ and I’m sure it confused people, but who cares.”

“Then I came out at trans, then non-binary, yes in that order, because fucking hell if I can do the same thing anyone else does. Now I’m apparently not only asexual, but a type of asexuality as if asexual wasn’t out there enough? I’m as exhausted as everyone else is. Even I can barely keep up with it.”

“Like seriously, we’re still at the point of barely anyone having heard of asexuals as it is, and then they had to add on sub-types, with complicated Greek names? Jesus fucking Christ how precious do I need to get? I might as well identify as sapiosexual. Which I don’t, by the way, kind of think they’re bullshit.”

Last we spoke with Lynx, they were planning on coming out in the most passive aggression and lowest effort way possible- sharing asexual memes on social media until everyone gets the fucking picture.

“I might buy a button. Do we have a flag? What are the colors? Oh just googled it; that’s kinda cool. Maybe I can get a bracelet.”

(Editor: This may be the author trying to say something without having to show vulnerability and we all know it.)