BATAVIA, IL–Harnessing the power of Internet Discourse, scientists made a breakthrough that could power hundreds of homes and businesses in the Chicago-land area. Scientists have discovered a way to generate electricity from Internet Discourse.

Speaking from Fermilab, Dr. Ade Ron Collider delivered his findings on a live stream, seemingly proving his hypothesis in real time.

“You can see from the graph here that our system takes the what we are calling the Periodic Irritation on Social Systems, and is able to translate that into heat, which circulates water and then a turbine. It’s really quite simple. The PISS system runs bidirectionally, either on or off.”

Some remain skeptical. Walter Peck, local Environmental Protection Agency representative, said that the discourse was toxic and if there were any spills, that these could cause severe ecological damage.

Regardless, Dr. Collider remains optimistic that his team’s discovery could take what many acknowledge is wasteful trash and, hopefully, get something useful out of it.