Science

Study: Women’s Bathrooms No Cleaner Than Men’s Rooms

DENVER, CO- A recent study by the University of Colorado reveals that common wisdom about the comparative cleanliness of women’s restrooms may be flawed. In terms of dirtiness, women’s bathrooms rated a 4.6 grunge factor, within the statistical margin of error from men’s bathrooms of 4.8.

“I definitely was expecting more perfumed towels and less overflowing trash cans full of used menstrual pads when I first started using the women’s room,” states local EDM music artist Annabel Moriarty. “The writing on the walls might be slightly classier, but there’s also more blood.”

“Men’s rooms aren’t that bad,” states local bartender Sara Mickelson. “I use them sometimes when the line for the women’s room is unbearable. Yeah, some men can’t aim, but women do the same thing! Probably all that ‘hovering’ over the toilet seat certain princesses do.”

“I’ll tell you you which bathroom’s worse- which ever one I’ve used most recently,” adds local IBS sufferer Alex Zifrin. “Don’t get me wrong, I clean up after myself, but I need to carry that spray with me to get rid of the smell. It doesn’t work but people appreciate the effort.”

“There is one thing about women’s rooms I’ll say,” concludes Moriarty. “The wifi’s better.”