DES MOINES, IA–Following a spur of the moment lottery ticket purchase, a local trans woman just kind of saw how her life will end up. 38 year-old Sabrina A Golden, knows exactly what she’ll send her lottery winnings on. “First, just first, I’m going to pay off my debt,” said Golden, who has a one in 302.5 million chance of winning the lottery. “Then I’m going to buy a vagina for all my friends that want them. I’m going to be like Oprah with those pussies,” she said, self-consciously stealing a joke she read on the Internet. “Oooh, Maybe a car!”

Golden, who doesn’t buy lottery tickets with any regularity and insists this isn’t a pattern just that she wanted to dream big for a minute, also said, “I want to visit my girlfriends. Being polyamorous doesn’t mean anything when you’re the only trans woman in all of Iowa for some reason.”

At press time, the only other trans woman in Iowa was deeply offended that Golden had forgotten about her.