Christmas was, at one point, an extremely popular holiday in the United States of America. But apparently, those days are over. In a shocking upset for the once well-known and widely celebrated event, I can only remember the names of two reindeer.

Santa Claus used to have lots of reindeer. At least five or six. But I guess those were too problematic for the liberal elite who controls our society today. Maybe they think it’s wrong to force reindeer to fly just to deliver a few presents. Maybe they were mad that none of the reindeer were trans people of color. Whatever their transgression was, I personally can only remember two of them now: Blitzen and Rudolph.

Wait a second. Was Bashful a reindeer? That kind of sounds like a reindeer, but it also kind of sounds like it could be something else. If Bashful is a reindeer, that’s three that have been saved from the wrath of the secular left. If not, it’s just two.

This is, above all, a failure of our institutions. Leftists have designed society such that at no point in my entire life did I ever take the time to learn the names of any other of Santa’s reindeer. And if I didn’t bother, I can’t imagine that anyone else did. That information is totally gone now. A whole American tradition, erased.