Rita Cooper was just trying to drive home from work on a rainy day. As the local, conservative woman accelerated her pickup truck onto the freeway ramp, she couldn’t believe what she saw – a giant, gleaming rainbow right over the traffic-filled road. There it was, coming down loudly from the sky, right in the middle of the city. Yes, a RAINBOW – as in, the symbol of the LGBTQ community. 

Cooper, registered Republican, is still in disbelief. 

“This is out of control! I mean, what if children saw?” asked Cooper of this piece of meteorological propaganda. “This gay and trans stuff…it’s everywhere now. I can’t even commute without being inundated with a liberal, gay agenda” she moaned.

Rita, like many conservatives, is sick of people’s “sexual preferences” being shoved down everyone’s throat. “Shoving things down throats is disgusting, and I want no part in it.” She continued, “first they queered up Dancing With the Stars, and now this?!”

When asked if she would perhaps be open to seeing another rainbow in the future, Rita said “Absolutely not. I’m still traumatized from this one. I saw this pornographic symbol BEAMING from the SKY, and I just have to be ok with it?” Rita lamented, while noting that if a heterosexual pride symbol were to appear in public after a rainstorm the “pc police would be up in arms!”

At the time of publishing, Rita Cooper was last seen driving toward the end of the rainbow, where she plans to call the police on it.